The Ultimate Crossover Of All Time
by fdgfdgfdgdfgfdgfg
Summary: (psSSTTttt.YOU.Yes. You! Hey there.Now that I have your attention, give my fanfic a try!)


The Ultimate Crossover Of All Time  
By: Anchante , Queen of all that is insane!  
  
This is A Tribute To every person who ever wrote a fanfic , read one or even imagines one but never got the courage to write it up.  
  
P.s:To all the LoTor fan , I'm not a fan of Lotor so if I make a few mistakes with character names and so forth , please ignore it.  
  
Warning:  
This fiction is the production of one of the most disgusting minds known to man.If you read this be warned that the subject matter may make your stomach queasy.If you can take it, great! If your sense of humor isn't quite ready to acknowledge such things , turn away immediately or until such time that something disturbing takes over the story.  
  
Rubs hands evilly  
  
Now let's begin....  
  
It was a beautiful , beautiful day in Middle Earth.The Sun was shining , the birds were chirping and Frodo was shaving his feet.  
  
"Its about time."  
Remarked Pippin, just as Gandalf walked in arm and arm with Aragorn and that girl who always hangs out with him (Aelynwen I think).  
  
"Greetings Pippin...er..Frodo."  
He added with a look of sheer amazement and disgust , as Frodo dumped all the hair into 3 bags and handed it to baa-baa black sheep.  
  
"Three bags full .As promised.Though its not wool, its soft and it'll make a good sweater."  
Frodo reasured Baa-Baa.  
  
"Aye.That it will.Thanks to ye , Mister Baggins, me little kiddies won't catch their death of colds."  
The Scottish sheep said gratefully, as he headed past the borderline into the heart of scotland , where he headed into the forbidden forest, to have a quick chat with his pal Hagrid before continuing onwards.  
  
"Goodbye dear foot hair.Baa-Baa.Take care of them."  
Frodo said tearfully as he glanced at the lovely thick starnds of hair one last time.  
  
Gandalf rolled his eyes heavenwards.  
  
"You look...um..weird."  
Aragorn stared , speaking in a voice that soudned uncharacteristically fearful.  
  
"You don't know the half of it," Frodo complained , "My feet are killing me.Its so cold.I feel strangely bald."  
  
He shivered.  
  
Gandaf was about to reply when a tall man ,dressed in all black with dark sunglasses covering his eyes appeared.  
  
"Are you Gandalf the grey?"  
He asked.  
  
"Why yes I..."  
He started when he was inturuppted by the man, who walked over to him and knelt by his feet.  
  
"I am Neo.I wish to join the fellowship."  
  
"Sorry dude , memberships back next year."  
Legolas said with a tiny twinge of sympathy.  
  
on! It took like ,10 friggin weeks to get from the Matrix to here.You can't turn me away now!"  
Neo fumed, just as a couple of brooms streaked through the sky.Their occupants landed beside Neo with skilful ease.  
  
"Have you seen Sirius?"  
A certain green eyed wizard demanded.  
  
"I dunno who you're talking about , but what about then guy next to you, " Gandalf added pointing to Neo , "That guy looks as serious as any person I've ever met."  
  
"Hey.I'm good.You outta see me in action."  
Neo shot back at Gandalf.  
  
Meanwhile the red headed wizard and the smaller , dark haired witch next to the green eyed one started arguing.  
  
"I told you we shouldn't have come here.But no , Mr.Potter and Mr Weasley would never even consider listening to me."  
  
"Oi, relax Hermoine.Its not as if we're lost , eh Harry?"  
The red head called Ron turned to the other wizard called Harry.  
  
"Actually we are.Sirius! SIRIUS!"  
Harry yelled , running aimlessly towards a figure that didn't exist and was long dead.  
  
"I knew Dumbledore shouldn't have given Harry morphine.Its just making it harder to accept.Poor Harry."  
Hermoine said with a shake of the head, as she took out a wand much to Gandalfs interest.  
  
"Are you a witch?"  
He asked.  
  
"Why yes I am."  
She replied.  
  
"Me too! I'm Gandalf the Grey! Wizard.Fifth class of Middle Earth and you are..?"  
  
"So we're in the middle of the earth, is that that you're saying? What about upper and lower earth? Not to mention the bits in between...ouch!"  
Ron yelled as Hermoine stepped on his FOOT.  
  
Frode winced.  
  
"Sorry about him.I'm Hermione Granger.Sith Year Hogwarts student."  
Hemoine replied delighted to be able to talk to someone smart.  
  
"I must say, that head master of yours , Dumbledore right? He has one silky beard! Mine is a bit frizzy , d'you know what shampoo he uses?"  
Gandalf asked, as Hermoine gave him a bottle of Tresemme.  
  
"I wouldn't take her advice if you know what I mean."  
Ron snickered, as he pointed to Hermoine's bushy hair.  
  
Hermoine glared.  
  
"I think we're all forgetting the point."  
Neo said .  
  
"And that would be , what?"  
Aelynwen asked.  
  
"That I am the one."  
Neo boasted, just as Anakin Skywalker strode in.  
  
"Thats just plain Crud.Everyone knows that I'm the one.Master Yoda, the council , even Mace windu got it through that thick head of his!"  
  
"Isn't he bald?"  
Legolas asked, "I was so sure when I saw the movies..."  
  
"But waitaminutewasn't frodo THE ONE who bears the ring?"  
Aragorn said, as everyone started talking at once.  
  
Baa-Baa came back with his bags of hair , followed by Hagrid who went to talk to Hermoine and Ron , who were fighting loudly.Hagrid tried to break it up , but started yelling as well.  
  
Neo glared at Anakin, who sneered and with drew his lightsaber.Upon seeing it, Neo ran and hid behind Frodo, who was talking to Baa-Baa about his feet and their hard grown hair.Aragorn and Aelynwen were talking about whether Princess Leia's cinnabon do with look good on her.They asked Gandalf , who declined to comment and talked to Hermoine about Voldemort and whether Darth Vader would be able to kick his butt.  
  
Hermione disagreed.  
  
Just then Harry came back , followed by a strange looking ship.  
  
"Ron! Hermoine! Hagrid.C'Mon! My friend Captain Picard said he'd give us a lift on somthing a tad faster then broom.The Enterprise or summit.Anyway, he's seen Siruis!"  
Harry cried happily.  
  
"I am so totally the one."  
Neo said from behind frodo.  
  
"Nu -uh I'm then chosen one.That make me better.You could be one of many one's But I am the chosen one."  
Anakin retorted.  
  
"But I am the one.As in the one and only."  
Neo yelled.  
  
"Alex West."  
Lara Croft sauntered in,and walked over to Anakin. "What are you doing here?"  
  
"I'm not ugh Alex West.I'm Anakin.A-N-A-K-I-N.Sheesh what is it with you people."  
Anakin yelled.  
  
"Whatever."  
Lara said nonchantly.  
  
"Oh no...!"  
Pippin yelled suddenly.  
  
"What is it?"  
Gandalf asked.  
  
"There are two armies heading this way...a whole load of people, an army in strange white uniforms.white suits and helmets.They all look the same.Oh one of them is waving a flag."  
  
"What does it say?"  
Lara asked, as she crossed her leg and sat down on a pile of Frodo's hair that Baa-baa had left behind, thinking it was a comforter.  
  
"Its says , "Clone/Stromtrooper for life.We are out to get the chosen one" And another army is with them.Another army of clones where one guy looks slightly bald.Has sunglasses.He's waving a banner.Its says , "Mr.Anderson" and there's a picture of 'the one' dying on it."  
Pippin said.  
  
Lara heard Gandalf sniggering, realized what she was sitting on and got off.  
  
Baa-Baa gave her dirty looks, a he picked up every strand of hair.  
  
Frodo went to get a pair of leg warmers.  
  
Neo finally realized what Pippin had said, and his face paled.  
  
"Tell you what.You can be the one."  
He said generously.  
  
"Oh no.after you...."  
Anakin insisted, his face paling as well.  
  
"No..no.You are the chosen one after all.Bye now"  
Neo said, jumping into the Enterprise, as its door was still ajar. Apparently Hagrid had gotten stuck in one of the ventillators and they couldn't take off without him.  
  
"Oh No you don't."  
Anakin yelled getting in with him.  
  
"Spock....call Dylan Hunt and the Andromeda Crew.I know they can't win against a bunch of Magog but they may be able to get a giant out of our ventillator"  
Picard yelled to Spock, who went to ask Kirk for his space module.  
  
"Can I come too?"  
Frodo asked,as Picard shrugged.  
  
"Fine but whoever else wants to come had better board in the next 2 minutes because once we leave, we aren't coming back."  
Picard said , as Frodo, Gandalf, Legolas, Aragorn, Aelynwen , Gollum/Smeagol , Baa-Baa, Lara, Hagrid and Malfloy (who had followed Harry) scrambled aboard as the Enterprise went on her maiden voyage.  
  
Two lone figures ran after it, as they stood staring at the retreating ship.  
  
"How could they set sail without me? I'm Captain Jack Sparrow."  
Jack frowned, as Batman peeled a banana calmly.  
  
"Now listen here Sparrow.."  
  
"Captain.Captain Jack Sparrow."  
Jack reminded him.  
  
"Whatever.We can fly after it in my bat mobile, and then you can see if Wall and Ellseenateder Tubbersmidt"  
  
"Will! Will and Elizabeth Turner"  
  
"Right Will and Elizabeth Turner are on that ship."  
Batman amended as he reached for an apple.  
  
"'Right.Thanks for the help mate."  
Jack said as they jumped in the batmobile and sped away.  
  
"D'you think it was wise to set Jack on a wild goose chase like that?"  
Elizabeth Swann Turner asked.  
  
Will grinned.  
  
"It'll be quite a joke when he gets on the ship and finds out we aren't there."  
He snickered, and immdediately felt a bit bad.  
  
"And Batsy is with them right?"  
The Joker asked.  
  
"Duh!"  
Elle Woods said, as Bruiser likced Jokers makeup off and everyone laughed.  
  
"Lookie there.Clones! Billions of them..."  
Will said, as Elizabeth snatched his binoculars to take a closer look.  
  
There were millions of them.All of them were heading there way.  
  
"Doh!"  
They all said in union.  
  



End file.
